The 6 Biggest Mistakes Men Make in Texting Women

Jared Laurence

Discover the modern way of flirting

Introduction

Texting is the modern-day warzone of dating, and for many men, it’s where things go horribly wrong.

This is the most common story I hear from men:
You meet someone amazing, hit it off, exchange numbers, and you message her and then… silence. Or worse, she starts replying with one-word answers, and you’re left staring at your phone wondering, What did I do wrong?

As a dating coach, I’ve seen thousands of men stumble at the texting stage of dating simply because they didn’t understand what were doing wrong time and time again. And it’s not because they’re not smart or they are doing it on purpose. Most men genuinely don’t know the ins and outs of texting and how it differs from the perspective of a man and a woman.

The key factor is attractive women have thousands of men messaging them on online dating apps, Instagram, and their social circle. Her world of texting is very different from your world of texting as a man. If you’ve ever blown a promising date over text, this blog is for you. Let’s dive into the biggest mistakes men make when texting women and, more importantly, how to fix them

1. Sending Too Many Texts Too Soon

Neediness is the kryptonite of attraction and dating, and nothing screams needy louder than a flood of texts. If you sending her multiple texts or even getting mad at her for not replying to your text then its already game over.

When you over-text, you’re essentially telling her, “My entire focus is on you, and I have nothing else going on in my life.” I needy and I can’t get any girls so I am going to smother you with love and attention in hopes that you like me.

And as you can imagine that’s a speedrun to getting ghosted by women. Women want to be pursued, but they also don’t want to feel overwhelmed. Push pull is the secret.

The key to avoiding this texting mistake is patience. Let her respond on her own time. And if she doesn’t respond then move on? Take a deep breath and move on.

2. Being Boring or Predictable

If your texts look like this:

“Hey, what’s up?”
“How was your day?”
“What are you doing?”

… you’re not texting; you’re putting her to sleep. Like I said before women are bombarded with thousands of messages like this, especially if they’re active on dating apps and social media. Do you really think she is going to reply to you with your boring messages?

Instead of asking generic questions, share something funny, interesting, or unique. Be creative with the way you speak and text. Makes a world of difference.

You are not there to conduct an interview.

Openers:

● Always personalize your opener, basing it on the girl’s profile, a specific prompt, or a picture she liked.

● Situational openers are ideal as they show you’ve taken the time to notice something unique about her.

● Leverage humor and make it about her, not you.

Examples of situational openers:

● Based on her prompt: If she mentions wanting a guy with a sense of humor, you could say: “Mind if I shamelessly flirt and hit on you? Just seems more fun than all the typical boring stuff.”

● Based on her name: If her name is Ray, you could playfully write: “I have a idea. We should throw a rager because I’ve been craving a wild night out.”

● Based on a liked picture: If she liked your photo with your dog, you could say: “If you like me, my dog comes as a package deal. Can hopefully have more than one type of puppy love if you play your cards right.” 😉

3. Turning Texts into Therapy Sessions

Texting is not the place to unload your emotional baggage or seek validation from women. I am sorry you need a therapist not a girlfriend. Women want a dating partner, not a fixer project. If you’re constantly talking about your ex, your childhood trauma or your existential crisis, you’re going to push her away to Narnia and she isn’t coming back.

Do you talk about your exes and childhood trauma all the time?
Does she seem hesitant and awkward when she talks to you about the topics you choose?

Messaging Style:

● Start playful, transition to flirty: Initiate with lighthearted, fun exchanges and gradually introduce subtle flirting.

● Don’t aim for deep connection over text: Texting is for building attraction and setting up a date, not having profound conversations. SAVE THAT FOR YOUR DATE

● Maintain momentum: Keep the conversation flowing with quick replies. Avoid long gaps in responding.

Playful Techniques:

● Exaggerate the mundane: Take everyday situations and make them humorous by exaggerating, and making fun stories

●Be extra: Amplify your reactions and responses to inject silliness and fun into the conversation.

Flirty Techniques:

●Role-plays and reversals: Engage in playful role-playing scenarios or reverse typical gender roles in a flirtatious way.

●Introduce challenges: Position yourself as a prize to be won, playfully challenging her and making her work for your attention.

●Be subtly sexually suggestive: Hint at sexual themes without being overtly crude or explicit.

4. Trying Too Hard to Impress

We’ve all been there—crafting the perfect text to make her fall in love with you. But if you are overthinking every message or trying too hard to be witty and smart, it shows. Women can sense when you’re performing instead of being real, and it’s a major turn-off.

Even things you were authentic about will feel fake to women if you try too hard. Be fun interesting and have a good conversation with her.

5. Neglecting to Escalate the Conversation

Here’s a common scenario: you’re texting back and forth, the conversation is going good, but then it just… fizzles. Why? Because you didn’t take the next step to actually go on a date with her.

Or you have the opposite where it’s a texting marathon where you are both sharing your life stories on text. Understand something you cannot have a relationship only over text. You need to meet her in person. The idea is to go forward and have a date.

When the time feels right, suggest something specific: “This has been fun—want to continue this over at the new gameshow/arcade/coffee shop on Saturday?”

Women appreciate men to take the lead and give her a fun experience. Mystery and space create attraction, which keeps her interested. There is no need to text her daily.

Recognize clear interest:

When you sense she’s attracted to you and reciprocating your flirting, go for the date.

● Suggest and direct: Propose a date idea and then confidently ask for her number. Don’t overthink it.

● FaceTime before the meeting: This weeds out catfish and helps establish a more comfortable vibe for the first date.

Example of transitioning to the date:

● You: “What a night of drinks, dancing, and laughter with a cute bearded guy help?”

● Her: “Most likely yes, that would help!”

● You: “Perfect. If tomorrow works for you, shoot me your number. If it doesn’t, then send it anyway.”

6. Misreading the Vibe

Sometimes, men get so focused on their own intentions and goals that they forget to read the room. You need to pay attention to the woman’s responses. If she’s replying with short, polite answers and not asking questions, it’s a sign she’s not that interested.

You need to be creative and fun for her to be interested. Also if you are already doing your best and if not she’s into you, she won’t appreciate your effort. If she’s not, it’s better to move on and talk to other girls there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Final Thoughts:

Texting is a means to a end. You cannot impress women over text. The idea is to be fun , charming, build a connection and ask her out on a date. The biggest mistakes most men make—over-texting, being boring, or trying too hard—stem from one underlying issue: insecurity and neediness.

If you struggling with these issues I suggest taking my help or one of our coaches to solve your issues. There is no need to reinvent the wheel just take the help of someone who already has one.

Ready to transform your texting game and your dating life ? Book A Free customized Training Call with us using the button below

Conclusion

about the author

jared lawrence

Founder and CEO Of Modern Success

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