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Do looks Matter In Dating ? The Real Truth
Jared Laurence
Introduction
The short answer? Yes, looks do matter in dating—but probably not in the way you think. If anyone says looks don’t matter then they aren’t living in the real world. I mean there is a reason why so many women swoon over movie stars and celebrities. The fact is looks do matter to women but not directly in the physical sense. Men are way more visual than women so we men perceive the world a certain way. Women are more about the vibe and the overall package and experience she gets from you. Notice her version of attraction is very different from what we men consider as good looking in terms of looks.
As a dating coach, I hear the question all the time: “Do I need to look like Ryan Reynolds to attract women?” The truth is, women care about looks—but not as much, or in the way, men often think. Let’s break down why looks matter, how much they matter, and what you can do to make the most of what you’ve got.
Looks Are the First Hook, Not the Whole Picture
Let’s not sugarcoat it—physical attraction based on facial features and body physique is important. It’s the first thing that makes someone want to swipe right when women see you on dating apps. When you walk across the room, and it makes women keep their eyes on you. Humans are visual creatures and first impressions matter a lot.
So yes you as a man look to date should be min-maxing what you can control in terms of your looks. If you have a bad hairstyle fix it. If you have a bad fashion sense fix it. If you have poor grooming habits fix it.
The goal is to be the best version of yourself. You are better off looks maxing what you can within your means.
Pro Tips: Ask attractive girls for fashion, grooming, and skin care advice. Most Attractive girls put a lot of effort into looking good. They will appreciate you asking plus you will get really good advice from them. Anna aka thedailyflirt is excellent if you wanna get fashion coaching.
But here’s where most men get it wrong: they assume “good looks” means your face needs to have movie-star perfection. In reality, women are drawn to how a man presents himself rather than his raw physical features such as his face or hair.
How you dress, your fashion sense, your confidence, your grooming, and your sense of style all play a far bigger role in attraction than just your face. Now that does not mean that your face is not important. But it also means that if you were not the most gifted in terms of looks there are things you can do to min-max your attractiveness to women.
Think of looks as the cover of a book you see in a bookstore. Yes, it’s what grabs your attention initially, but if the content inside doesn’t deliver, the book gets put back on the shelf. It’s the same with dating. Looks matter but its not everything. Looks might open the door, but personality, character, and charm are what make women fall in love with you.
So the idea is that you should focus on being the best version of yourself as present yourself as the entire package that would make any women who dates you feel lucky.
Attraction Is More Than Just Face
When women say they’re attracted to a man’s “vibe,” they’re not just throwing around a vague buzzword—they actually mean your vibe as a person. Women are more in-tune with body language and gestural cues then men. That is why they find men who are confident, have good body language and charisma naturally attractive because of the way they move and act regardless of physical appearance.
That is why outcome independence is by far the most attractive thing for women in a man. A man who is relaxed and not chasing attention or validation from women and is comfortable being himself is automatically very attractive to women.
You might not have control over your bone structure, but you do have control over how you carry yourself, how you dress, how you groom yourself etc. A confident, charming average looking guy always beats a good looking nervous, and panicky guy in terms of dating every day. And that’s the whole point of this post. Instead of focusing on what you cannot change you need to focus on what you can. Take time and try to optimize the things that you can control in terms of dating and attraction.
Things you can control:
Your Hairstyle / Hair
Your Physical fitness and health
Your teeth
Your Scent
Your skin
Your Beard and Face
By making sure you look your best in the above physical features you have a better chance of being more attractive to women. Improve what you can. Let go of what you cannot control. Focus on being the best version of you.
The Power of Presentation
While raw physical features are mostly out of your hands, how you present yourself is entirely within your control. Women notice details: the fit of your clothes, whether you’ve taken the time to groom, and how you carry yourself. Your fashion sense and body language.
Check my pictures below for example. I went from Dorky to Stud Real Fast with regular workout, better clothes and grooming.
That is why I say. Its about the whole package you present to the world. So make sure to min -max to the best of your ability.
Before:
After:
Invest in clothes that fit well and suit your personal style. The idea is to be the best version of yourself. You don’t need a designer wardrobe—just pieces that make you look and feel good and confident. Pay attention to grooming, too. Think of it like this. Every little thing you do to look good adds a few % of attractiveness. And if you do enough things you will automatically reach the top 10% of men.
A fresh haircut, clean nails, and even a signature scent can make a world of difference in how attractive you look to women.
When you take pride in your appearance, it shows that you value yourself, and that’s inherently attractive. Women love a guy who looks amazing and take care of himself.
Confidence:
If there’s one quality that is more important than looks, then it’s confidence and outcome independence. Confidence is about being comfortable in your own skin. It’s the quiet assurance that says, “I know who I am, and I like who I am.” And I don’t care if other people don’t like me.
When you’re confident, your physical appearance takes on a different energy and vibe. You are suddenly more charming to women. There is a reason women love bad boys so much.
The key to confidence is focusing on your life and being the best version of you.
What Women Really Want
Here’s the truth: women want a complete package. Looks might catch their eye, but they’re looking for someone who can give them the emotions and stability they seek in a man. Different women look for different things but the following is always the same.
Women want a confident, outcome independent man, who takes care of himself and has ambitions goals and career that is important to him. As long as you can give her the emotions she wants she will chase you to the end of the earth if need be. So focus on giving her the best experience by making sure you are the best version of you.
Women would rather be with someone who is bad boy then be with someone who is boring. Women want a rollercoaster of emotions when it comes to dating and attraction. Because at the end of the day, that’s what people fall in love with—not just your looks, but the story, emotions and experience you bring to their life.
So do looks matter in dating? Absolutely. But they’re just one piece of the puzzle. The good news is, you don’t need to be conventionally handsome to be attractive to women. Women are drawn to the complete package—confidence, charm, presentation, and personality. You don’t need to look like a movie star to attract women but you do need to be the best version of yourself.
Ready to become the best version of yourself and build the confidence to attract the right partner? Book A Call With Us using the button below
Conclusion
about the author
jared lawrence
Founder And CEO Of Modern Success
Table of Contents
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