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- CATEGORY connections, dating mindset
7 Dating Mistakes Engineers Make
Jared Laurence
Introduction
Did you know that engineers are some of the most sought-after professionals in the dating world? Your analytical mind, stable career, and problem-solving abilities make you quite the catch from a husband perspective. But here’s the plot twist: the same traits that make you excellent at engineering can sometimes short-circuit your dating life.
Think about it – while you’re busy optimizing your code, you might be missing the chance to optimize your dating game. As a dating coach who’s worked with countless engineers, I’ve identified the most common bugs in your relationship software. Let’s debug your dating life and get your romance running at peak performance!
#1 Overemphasizing Logic Over Emotions
Hey there, fellow engineers! Let’s talk about one of the biggest dating mistakes I see in our community – treating dates like debugging. Sure, your analytical mindset crushes it at work, but in the dating game? Not so much.
Here’s the deal: while you’re busy analyzing every detail of the conversation like it’s a system architecture review, your date’s looking for that emotional spark. Trust me, I get it – we’re wired to solve problems, but relationships aren’t coding challenges. You cannot be overly logical in relationships.
Try this instead: When your talking to a lady who is telling you about their rough day, resist the urge to offer solutions. Yes I know our engineer brains wants efficiency and problem solving but that’s not how women work. Instead you need to say, “That sounds really frustrating. How are you feeling about it?” This simple switch makes her feel heard and you more emotionally savvy.
Remember, fellas – emotions aren’t bugs in the system, they’re features of human communication and connection.
#2 Being Too Reserved or Introverted
Let’s get right on it. Engineers are most often introverts. Being the quiet smart guy works well in office. Not so much in the dating world. For girls to know how amazing you are they need to actually talk to you. When you stay quiet you get lost in the background. Your job is to go talk to them. As a guy you need to take the first step when it comes to dating.
Here’s your action plan: Start small and level up gradually. Hit up low-pressure spots like coffee shops or hobby meetups where you can practice those social skills without the anxiety going in overdrive. There is no magic pill for practice. You need to talk to people to get good socially. That means you need to get out of your comfort zone.
Pro tip: Think of social interactions like beta testing – start small with people you know or people in hobby groups, in the gym etc. And then move on to actually talking to girls you find attractive.
#3 Prioritizing Work Over Relationships
Alright engineers, let’s debug this common relationship problem! I see it all the time – you’re crushing those deadlines and working your ass off to satisfy your bosses expectations, but your dating life is running on battery saving mode.
When you’re treating your relationship like a afterthought you will obviously struggle with women and dating in general. Getting good with women needs proactive action. You need to go out of your comfort zone and meet new people. Work is important so is your dating life. You need balance.
#4 Lack of Romantic Gestures
Listen up, engineers! I know you can design systems, but when it comes to romance, you’re running on outdated software. Your practical mindset might be telling you that flowers and candlelit dinners are inefficient and a waste of money, but here’s the truth: romance isn’t about efficiency, it’s about making your partner feel special.
So yes you will have to do things that your logical brain will tell you aren’t efficient.
#5 Difficulty with Emotional Expression
Alright engineers, let’s talk about emotions – you know, that thing you struggle to handle and causes buffer overflow in your brain. That my friend is normal. Most engineers focus on studies their entire life and jump right into corporate world without any time for soul searching.
But to be good with people you need to first make peace with yourself. Spend some time alone with yourself and work the feelings you have bottled up inside. Once you have spend some time going through those bottled up emotions. You will be able to express yourself better.
#6 Poor Communication with Women
Let’s debug one of the biggest system crashes in your dating life – communicating with women. You might be fluent in Python and Java, but when it comes to speaking “woman,” you have the error 404.
Here’s what’s really happening: You’re approaching conversations like technical discussions, focusing too much on logic and less on the emotions and the vibe you are giving off. Its not what you say, but how you say it. Women especially want to feel and experience rather than just have knowledge of something. So start expressing more.
I see this all the time with engineers- you’re approaching every romantic situation with the same analytical mindset you use for solving complex algorithms and problems at work. Sorry women don’t work like that. There is a reason why women are called emotional creatures.
When the girl you met is telling you something about herself, your job to listen. Stop trying to solve problems. They are not looking for a spreadsheet with solutions to their problems. They just want to express their problems, or life situations. Unless explicitly asked for a solution you should not be giving any. Only give solutions when the other persons asks for it.
#7 Lack of Social Skills
I see plenty of brilliant engineers who can solve complex problems and make a lot of money but completely freeze up in front of a girl.
Here’s your social plan: Begin with the basics – make eye contact, practice small talk with baristas or cashiers, and gradually work your way up to more complex social situations. You need to get good with social skills. Not only will you get better with women your overall social life will improve a lot
Pro tip: Join meetups or groups where you’re already in your comfort zone. Maybe its games you like, or comics or hiking or yoga. Use these low-pressure environments to practice your social skills with people. Then once you wanna get to the next level move to actual dating and approaching women.
Conclusion
Remember, fellas – social skills are just like a muscle. The more your practice the stronger it gets.
You don’t need to change who you are as a person and a engineer to get good with women. But you do need to do some minor adjustments to make sure you are compatible with the type of women you want in your life.
And if you wanna save time and super optimize your dating OS then simply join the modern success coaching program. With experts in each field you are bound to shorten the time needed to get good with women. As a free sample simply use the button book the call with me and my team.
Conclusion
about the author
jared lawrence
Founder And CEO Of Modern Success
Table of Contents
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